Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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