Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
