You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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