he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
