Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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