I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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