I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
organizing the empties. That sober.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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