Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
