I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
