Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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