Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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