So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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