I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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