he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
