forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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