You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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