dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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