he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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