good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
