Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
