I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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