Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize