mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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