Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
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he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
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At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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