I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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