I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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