i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
