Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
