yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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