Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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