i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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