Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
