There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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