He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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