Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob