Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.