watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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