I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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