Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
the condom got lost in my hair
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
