in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
