If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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