Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
