If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Barsexuality is the new black.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
