trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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