so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
