Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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