Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
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