grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
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Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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