Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
