She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
