You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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