You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
