It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
