Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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