I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
