That's intense
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We're too hungover to prance.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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