he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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