i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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