I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
