Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
