Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I want to be your penis for a week.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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