2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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