I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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