The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
