Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize