wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize