I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
This is my gift to your gina
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
