Well apparently he's into motor boating.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
