But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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